Lynn Hare

Are you looking for a book about how to forgive, rich with practical tips and personal, down-to-earth illustrations?  I recommend Suzie Eller’s powerful new release, The Unburdened Heart, my favorite about forgiving the unforgivable.

The Unburdened Heart explains how to let go of shame and anger and respond instead with godly maturity. Suzie weaves in definitions of Greek words like those that mean “holding on,” “releasing,” and “loving.” Her illustrations stir our hearts to understand the roles of anger, control, and resentment, and how they can be replaced by peace, confidence, and forgiveness. I love it when Suzie speaks to unresolved emotion. She’s very down-to-earth and easy to understand.

Powerfully-woven topics include those about finding a safe place to heal and what happens when there’s no happily ever after. The Q & A section at the end of the book includes, “How do I let go of the need to guard myself against all other hurts if the change only occurs in me?” and “The ultimate risk for me is the truth I’ll need to face about myself and the hurt I’ve caused others. How do I face that and still have hope?”

Here’s what reviewers on amazon.com are saying:

“This is 200 pages of sage, straightforward wisdom wrapped in girlfriend gentleness and grace . . . Suzie engages some of the hardest topics surrounding resentment and forgiveness . . . Those of us living in a place of tender, fresh pain will feel loved and respected in it.” (Laurie W.)

“This book was an eye-opener for me . . . Eller is honest, real and willing to uncover the truth, even if it hurts a bit.” (Carey S.)

“With real life stories woven throughout and biblical insight, this book gives us the tools to make forgiveness doable and freedom attainable.” (Stephanie S.)

Friends, what resources on forgiveness can you recommend?

Find Suzie Eller at:
Website     http://tsuzanneeller.com/
Email          https://www.facebook.com/messages/tsuzanneeller
Facebook   https://www.facebook.com/tsuzanneeller
Proverbs 31 Ministries: http://www.proverbs31.org/

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At an Oregon Christian Writers Conference last August, I had the pleasure of meeting Cec Murphey, veteran author/co-author of more than 130 books, including the New York Times bestseller 90 Minutes in Heaven (with Don Piper) and Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story. Today he’s our guest blogger.

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About a month ago I moved over to the left-turn lane to get on the ramp for I-85. Just then, a Lexus pulled ahead of my Honda and I had to hit my brake to avoid hitting that car.

A few days ago I was driving north in downtown Atlanta where two expressways split. It was one of those tricky situations where I had less than half a mile to move two lanes to the left to get on I-85. The traffic was heavy behind me and the only way I could figure out how to do that was to hit the gas pedal and pull in front of a car.

The man gave me a long blast on his horn. I gestured to say I was sorry but I don’t know if it did any good.

As I drove along, I started to laugh. When someone cut me off, I became upset and grumbled about people who didn’t look ahead. When I did it, I knew my reasons and excused myself.

By contrast, when I do something unkind or mean-spirited, I castigate myself for days. “I knew better.” I pray and know God forgives me, but I’m not always compassionate toward myself.

And yet a friend recently offended me by an extremely critical remark. Afterward I thought about it, and said to myself, “That’s just his way. He didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.” I forgave him.

Odd, isn’t it? It shows me my contradictory nature, but I’m also learning. When a driver cuts me off, I say, “He must be late for an appointment or maybe she’s having a bad day.”

My problem is forgiving myself when I do something contrary to my own values. I’m learning to say, “I forgive you, Cec. That’s just the way you are, but you’re going to change and not do it again.”

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Friends,  in what area do you find it the most difficult to forgive yourself?

Connect with Cec Murphey at:  www.cecilmurphey.com/

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Here’s my favorite quote from Neil Gaiman, author of short fiction, novels, comic books, graphic novels, audio theater and films:

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

“Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

“So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

“Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”

What’s a recent mistake you’ve made and how did it change you? How did it change your world?

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Goobers and Raisinets
Chocolate-covered treats
Raisinets and Goobers
Mighty fun to eat!

“How about some Goobers?” I asked my friends as I stood in line with them at the movies.

“Goobers! Sure! Let’s get some Raisinets, too!” After we got our tickets, we made our way to the concession stand. The smell of salty popcorn and chocolate assaulted our senses. I pulled a ten-dollar bill out of my pocket.

Goobers! Chocolate heaven! But the word goobers also means lovable goofballs. We stick out in a crowd cause, well, we’re just too nuts to miss.

I recently attended an action-packed writers’ conference in Portland. Butterflies in my stomach flipped and flopped with steel wings.  I was the only person in the room with blue electrician’s tape holding broken eyeglasses together.

I’ll get a cup of tea. That’ll settle my nerves. Maybe I can threaten the butterflies by pouring scalding water on them. I set the glasses down on the table and carelessly dropped a my used tea bag on top of them. (The glasses, not the butterflies.)

Then the emcee announced that Paul Young, author of The Shack, was about to speak. I don’t want to miss this guy! I grabbed the glasses and wobbily hooked them over my ears. To my chagrin, the tea bag dangled from the corner of the frames. Now my nerd-face glasses sported a tea bag. Yikes!

Later that afternoon, I met with an agent who took pity on this poor writer and made some good sounds over my book pitch. At the end of the brief meeting, I stood and thanked her. The pages I brought to present leapt from my hands (don’t blame them for making a break for it) and fell at my feet, scattering across the tiled cafeteria floor. Sheepishly, I bent over and picked them up. The agent left to get a cup of coffee.

Head-smacking time.

When we’re total goobers, I used to figure Jesus was laughing at us. Who wouldn’t? But now I’m beginning to understand that He loves us and laughs, not at our expense, but with us in the joy of the botched moment.

Next time my Home Boy Jesus and I go to the movies, think I’ll buy Him some Goobers. And a big box of Raisinets, too, just to be on the safe side.

Goobers and nerdettes,
Funny, funny dorks,
Nerdettes and goobers,
Mighty funny snorts.

(Lynn, don’t quit your day job.)

What’s your favo candy? What do you do that makes Jesus laugh?

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Death and life are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21, ESV)

Playing miniature golf with Tim, I shaded my eyes with my hand, looking at the double-backed twisty-shaped loop that lay ahead. I frowned. “This hole is really hard!” I said.  It took me six strokes to complete the hole.

“Hey,” I said, “I can do better.”

Tim asked, “What are you going to do?”

On the next hole, I plopped the golf ball down on the starting mark. I took a deep breath and said, “This one is going right in. A hole in one!” The ball sprang to life. I could have sworn it squealed, “Whee!” I did a double take as it landed right in the hole.

I jumped up and down, pumping the club over my head in ecstasy. “Wow!” I said. “Did you see that? It went right in.” I bent over and scooped the ball out of the hole.

Tim grinned and said, “Can you do it again?”

At the next two holes, I said, “This looks hard. I don’t know if I can do it.” Those took several strokes to complete. At the following two, I announced, “This one is going right in. A hole in one!” My eyebrows shot up. From the starting mark, the ball went directly into each cup.

What we say aloud changes the atmosphere. When we speak affirmations aloud, the sound waves are literally charged with ripples of faith. The energy in the room (or golf course) becomes ripe with expectancy.  Just as we get a surge of strength from others’ prayers and words of encouragement, we activate God’s power in us when we speak truths aloud over ourselves.

Speaking aloud changes the chemical makeup of our bodies. Try this. Balance a pencil on one finger while saying aloud, “This is too hard. I’m not good at this.” How did your body react? Now do it again, saying aloud, “This is easy. I’m really good at this.” How did your body respond this time?

Whee!

What are your words bringing to life to today?

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Can you find these words in your dictionary?

Willie-niverred (adj.)– stuck, unable to move forward, at a complete halt, tied up in an emotional knot.
Cahooch (interjection) – Wow, I’m advancing!

Ok, I made them up. But willie-niverred just sounds like how I feel sometimes. All jumbled inside. Unable to get unstuck.

You stumble, yawning, into the kitchen. Peering through the slits of your eyes, you pull a saucer out of the dishwasher. Rats! The dishes are dirty. Again. You turn to grab a coffee cup from the counter, but your foot schleps to the linoleum. A sticky residue holds you hostage. And this substance beats anything you pored over in high school chemistry lab.

When that happens on the inside, you’re willie-niverred. Like me, do you get discouraged with yourself and long for the day you have a bit more simmering on the burner when it comes to spiritual maturity?

How might we get unschlepped? Of these two, which is better:

• Focus on the sticky parts. Get on your hands and knees and scour away.

• In the muck and mire, focus on God. Practice the presence of the Holy Spirit and release Him in the unexpected. Tilt your head back and laugh at the overrated concept of a perfect day. Or even a perfect floor.

Cahooch!

When you’re stuck, how do you move forward?

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Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. (Prov. 19:21, NIV)

BREAKTHROUGH!  After thirteen years of chronic pain, with debilitating cycles of fibromyalgia, I was pain-free! Friends and family prayed me out of the pit of muscle pain and sleeplessness for thirteen years. Then, in June 2011, it was gone. My schedule soon filled up with bird dogging and hikes by the river.Yay!

I was elated in February to be retiring the handicapped parking placard I’d been using for eight years. “Get out the scissors!” I told Tim.  We’re slicing this thing to pieces and it’s going out on Facebook.”

But even the best-laid plans get smashed. After the nasty car accident, hobbling about with a medical walker, wheelchair, and crutches, I needed to park close to the doors of buildings again. So we kept the placard. And when it expired a couple of weeks later, we needed to apply for a new one. Intense frustration. Where was that Facebook party?

When your path takes unpredictable twists and turns, do you engage in victim talk? Or overcomer talk?

Victim talk:  This rots. I should be much further along by now. Forget that dream. (Extra points for an Eeyore sigh.)

Overcomer talk:  Confusing though it seems, this situation is challenging me in a good way. God, how is this maturing me? How are You advancing me as a leader in this?

Victim talk:  I just hit a brick wall.  Munch, munch, yum, yum, asphalt! Bring me some ice cream to go with it. (Extra points for every quart of Haagen-Dazs consumed.)

Overcomer talk:  In this decidedly unfriendly collision with a brick wall, I lost it. How might this forehead-smacking moment direct me to God’s plan for what comes next? This may be backwards-and-upside-down, but thanks for the ‘no,’ Lord.

Victim talk:  Okay, who broke the GPS? We’re in the wrong part of town—isn’t that obvious? This is nutzoid. When are we going home? (Extra points for creative finger-tapping.)

Overcomer talk:  You’re always up to something, Lord. You fill me with Your love and acceptance. What can I release in the spirit realm by way of encouraging others in this season of divine encounters?

Friends, can you share an example of your own victim talk you’ve switched over to overcomer talk?

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As overcomers in Christ, we literally change the atmosphere with our words. So what should we say?

Steve Backlund, author, speaker, leadership developer and associate pastor from Bethel Church, in Redding, California shares these powerful declarations.  Speak these over yourself, your family, coworkers, neighbors, friends (and enemies). Put them on the mirrors in your home and dashboard of your car.  You activate your faith when you speak strength into your life.

Are you willing to take a 30-day challenge?  Speak these aloud every day for a month.  Comment on the blog page if you’re “in!”

1. My prayers are powerful and effective (II Corinthians 5:21, James 5:16).
2. God richly supplies all my financial needs (Philippians 4:19).
3. I am dead to sin and alive to obey in God (Romans 6:11).
4. I walk in ever-increasing health (Isaiah 53:3-5, Psalms 103:1-3).
5. I live under a supernatural protection (Psalms 91).
6. I prosper in all my relationships (Luke 2:52).
7. I consistently bring God encounters to other people (Mark 16:17-18).
8. Through Jesus, I am 100% loved and worthy to receive all of God’s blessings (Galatians 3:1-5).
9. Each of my family members is wonderfully blessed and radically loves Jesus (Acts 16:30-31).
10. I uproariously laugh when I hear a lie from the devil (Psalms 2:2-4).
11. I set the course of my life today with my words (James 3:2-5).
12. I declare today that I cannot be defeated, discouraged, depressed or disappointed (Philippians 4:13).
13. I am the head.  I have insight.  I have wisdom.  I have ideas. I have authority (Deuteronomy 8:18, 28:13; James 1:5-8, Luke 10:19).
14. As I speak God’s promises, they come to pass.  They stop all attacks, assaults, oppression and fear from my life (II Peter 1:2-4, Mark 11:23-24).
15. God is on my side today and therefore, I cannot be defeated (Romans 8:37, Psalms 91).
16. I have the wisdom of God today.  I will think the right thoughts, say the right words, and make the right decisions in every situation I face (I Corinthians 2:16).
17. I choose life today.  I choose health.  I will not be depressed today. I will not be in lack today.  I will not be confused today (Deuteronomy 13:19, Nehemiah 8:10, Psalms 103:1-3, II Timothy 1:6-7).
18. I will expect the best day of my life spiritually, emotionally, relationally and financially in Jesus name (Romans 15:13).
19. I have a covenant with God and by the blood of Jesus, I release my divine protection and divine provision (Hebrews 8:6).
20. My angels are carrying out the Word of God on my behalf (Psalms 103:20).
21. I expect to have divine appointments today, to run into the right people and to be delivered from the wrong people.
22. Any adversity, attack, accidents and tragedies that were headed my way are diverted right now in Jesus’ name.
23. I speak to the raging waters in my life, “Peace, be still.”  I say to my mind, “Peace, be still.”  I say to my emotions, “Peace, be still.”  I say to my body, “Peace, be still.”  I say to my home, “Peace, be still.”  I say to my family, “Peace, be still.”
24. Now I speak to every mountain of fear, every mountain of discouragement, every mountain of stress, every mountain of depression, every mountain of lack and insufficiency, and I say, “Be removed and cast into the sea, in Jesus’ name! (Mark 11:22-24).
25. And I speak to this day and call you blessed.  And I declare that I serve a mighty God who today will do exceedingly, abundantly above all that I can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).  I say You are a good God and I eagerly anticipate Your goodness today.

Which of these truths does your home need the most? What are the benefits of speaking them aloud?

Steve Backlund and his wife, Wendy, have a message that ignites hope and joy wherever they go. They travel extensively to encourage and empower churches around the world in revival culture and victorious mindsets. For more information about their ministry, and for additional books and audio messages by Steve, go to ignitedhope.com.

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Crowd surfing (photo by James Arnold)

Mosher daughter, Emily, turns nineteen this week. She’s been to twenty concerts and loves to crowd surf. Emily says:

“I’d been to multiple concerts before August Burns Red, but little did I know that I’d be crowd surfing at their fall show. I was standing near the front of the stage, enjoying the music, when two strong guys in front of me asked me if I wanted to go crowd surfing.

“They said, ‘We’ll hoist you up to the stage. Let the people in front of you know you’re going to jump. As soon as you do, try to be as flat as a board. Don’t kick people in the face or flail your arms and legs. Then people will pass you along.’

“I nodded in understanding. While the band continued playing, one of the guys gave me a boost up to the stage. Like airport guys on a runway waving a plane on with wands, I signaled to the people directly in front of me that they should prepare for me to jump.

“I saluted the bassist in the band and sailed into the air. I was passed along by a sea of arms. I felt each hand beneath me, passing me along to the next hand, to the next, to the next. It felt like I was sailing on clouds.

“I was at another concert when my glasses got kicked off and landed below in the crowd of moshing music enthusiasts. The glasses were trampled by the unaware crowd. Once I found the glasses, they were deformed and horribly scratched. I couldn’t see the rest of the concert as clearly, but my excitement never died, because seeing my favorite band was enough.”

One of the toughest things in the middle of a trial is the realization that we can’t climb out of pain and discouragement on our own. Recovering from a devastating car accident, I realized that no matter how much I prayed, I wasn’t going to get better without help.

When you’re in pain:

• Ask others to pray. Be transparent. Tell about your pain, discouragement, or depression. Be real so others can pray real.
• Posture yourself as a crowd surfer—lifted up in prayer from one person to another. Expect a surge of strength in the energy that carries you.
• Understand there will be times when you can’t see clearly. That’s okay. On the days when our glasses get crushed beneath the feet of the crowd, we’re learning to live by faith and not by sight. The very stuff spiritual leaders are made from. Like Emily, let’s not lose our excitement. The music is still playing! Surf on.

What does it feel like when others lift you up in prayer? Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it?

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